Let’s be honest. We’re all terrible actors. And I mean all of us.
You know exactly what I’m talking about. That “professional voice” you put on when a lead answers the phone? That rehearsed confidence you try to project at listing appointments? That perfectly memorized value proposition you practice in your car mirror?
We’re not building businesses.
We’re starring in the world’s longest, lowest-budget performance.
And we’re not even good at it.
Think about your last listing appointment. How many times did you catch yourself saying something you don’t even believe in, just because it was in some script you bought? How many times did you hear your voice shift into that fake “agent tone” that makes you cringe when other agents use it?
Have you ever watched yourself in these moments? Notice how your voice gets higher and tighter the less confident you feel? How you sound completely different explaining the market to a FSBO versus chatting with your neighbour about their home value?
That’s not you becoming more professional.
That’s you hiding deeper behind your lines.
The worst part is the moment someone asks a question that isn’t in your script. You know that feeling.
Your stomach drops, your mouth gets dry, and suddenly you’re scrambling to sound professional instead of just answering the question like a human being.
We’re like those community theatre performers who try so hard to sound dramatic that they forget to sound human. Every conversation becomes a scene. Every objection becomes a cue. Every call becomes another chance to prove we deserve to be on this stage.
You want to know the real reason that FSBO hung up on you? It’s not because you used the wrong script.
It’s because while you were busy performing your part as a “knowledgeable agent,” they were trying to figure out if they could trust their biggest financial decision to someone who sounds like they’re reading from a manual.
Let’s talk about what’s really happening in these moments.
Every time you sit across from a potential client, there’s this bizarre dance going on.
- They’re trying to hide their terror about making a million-dollar mistake.
- You’re trying to hide your terror about not having all the answers.
And as the stakes get higher, everyone gets more rigid, more ‘professional’ and more fake.
Here’s the darkest part of this whole performance.
While sellers are sitting there terrified about their biggest financial decision, we’re matching their fear with our own.
They’re up on the fence wondering if they can trust someone with their future, and what do we do?
We climb right up there with them, hiding our own uncertainty behind memorized scripts and rehearsed confidence.
No wonder so many deals fall apart.
We’ve got two scared people sitting on a fence trying to convince each other they’re not scared.
I get why we do it. Scripts feel safe. They promise certainty in an uncertain business.
Every morning in your car, running through those responses one more time, you can tell yourself you’re improving. “I practiced for an hour today!” sounds a lot better than “I still don’t really understand why houses in this neighborhood sell for what they do.”
And that’s the real trap, isn’t it? We’re not actually getting better.
We’re just getting better at pretending we’re better.
Every new script, every objection handler, every perfectly practiced presentation – they’re all just fancier ways to avoid doing the real work.
I know what you’re thinking.
“Okay, but how do I stop?”
And I get it. That’s the actor in you looking for another script, another system, another mask to replace the one I just told you to remove.
Let me ask you something.
When was the last time you had a real conversation about real estate that didn’t feel like a performance? Maybe with a friend asking about the market, or family member considering a move?
What was different about that conversation? You knew your stuff, right? You weren’t reading from a script. You weren’t trying to remember the perfect way to explain market conditions. You were just sharing what you actually know about this business.
Here’s something important worth remembering:
Memorizing market stats isn’t the same as understanding the market.
Knowing scripts isn’t the same as knowing real estate.
Real confidence isn’t about remembering what to say. It’s about knowing something so well you forget you’re even drawing from memory.
That’s not confidence you’re missing – it’s clarity. You don’t need better scripts.
You need to get brutally honest about what you actually know versus what you’re pretending to know. Because that fear you feel before every call? That’s not stage fright.
That’s your gut warning you that you’re about to try selling something you’re not completely sure about.
Think about your last listing presentation.
Was your voice shaking because you need more confidence training? Or was it shaking because deep down, you’re not entirely sure why you’re recommending that list price?
Were you stumbling over your words because you need more practice? Or because you’re not actually certain about how the market is trending?
Here’s your homework:
Take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle of the page. On the left, write down everything you know about real estate that you’re absolutely certain about. Not what you’ve memorized – what you KNOW. The stuff you could explain to a fifth grader. The things you understand so well you could defend them in your sleep.
Then on the right, write down everything you’re shaky about. Everything that makes you reach for a script instead of speaking from certainty. Everything that makes your voice go up an octave when a client asks about it.
That gap between those lists? It’s not writer’s block. It’s not a crisis of confidence. It’s your map of everywhere you’ve been substituting performance for expertise.
Every single item on that “shaky” list represents a moment where you’ve been climbing up on that fence with your clients instead of being their solid ground.
And this is where most real estate advice goes wrong. They’ll tell you to practice more scripts to feel more confident about the things on that “shaky” list.
But that’s like memorizing French phrases without learning French. Sure, you can order dinner in Paris. But the moment someone asks you an unexpected question, you’re right back to panicked acting.
This isn’t about ‘fake it till you make it.’
Because let’s be honest – most agents just fake it till they quit. They spend years perfecting their performance while that gap between what they know and what they pretend to know gets wider and wider.
Want to know why top producers sound so natural? It’s not because they’ve practiced their scripts more than you. It’s because they’ve spent more time filling in that gap than filling their heads with someone else’s words.
The real question isn’t “how do I sound more confident?”
It’s “what am I pretending to know?”
Because that pretense isn’t protecting you – it’s preventing you from building something real.
Look at that “shaky” list again.
That’s not your to-do list for script practice.
That’s your to-learn list for actual expertise. Every item on that list is showing you exactly where you need to stop acting and start building.
The stage is yours. But it’s time to stop performing and start learning your lines for real.